Chick-fil-a

Here's an email that has been making the rounds in academic circles.
I don't know if it's true or not... but if so this is the best excuse for missing a final exam that I have ever heard.

Professor [name],

I am in your MWF 8:00 a.m. [class] and I was wondering if there is any possible way I could take the exam on Monday, Tuesday, afternoon/late Thursday, or Friday? I know this is late notice, but something has come up that would, if I could go, require me to leave very early Wednesday morning and not arrive back in [our town] until Thursday morning. I would like to attend the Chick-fil-A opening in [city 2 hours away]. If you are one of the first one hundred people to arrive at a Chick-fil-A opening, you recieve free Chick-fil-A for a whole year. Because [our school] has a Chick-fil-A on campus, I would then be able to get a smaller meal plan and consequently save some money. This event is so popular that most of the 100 arrive very early in the morning the day before the opening and camp out the night before. Some even arrive days before the opening. To contend with the other potential first 100 arrivals, my ride would like to leave a great deal before my exam 8:00-10:00 a.m. on Wednesday. I know this may seem like an unusual request, but I would greatly appreciate anything you could do.

Thanks!
[student name]

My grade is unacceptable

From a reader: This one was handwritten on a piece of paper left for another TA in a shared office, so there's no email to forward. But a student left his TA a note saying that the grade he had received for [course] was "unacceptable." He asked her to suggest a "mutually convenient time" when they could meet "to negotiate a grade that will be acceptable to us both."

Lab attack

Hello [Professor],

I tried to send my [project] on blackboard but it did not so through so my lab is attacked to this email.

Thank you,
[Student]

I can't wait to take the exam!

Sent to a reader the night before the final, which was scheduled for the following afternoon:

I realize this is last minute, but if there was any possibility for me to take the final at the earlier time, 8 am Monday, that would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks
[student name]

The professor's response:

[student name]:
You mean, like, 12 hours from right now? No way.
Prof [profname]